The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
