She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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