im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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