woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
