Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
