If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
