your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
