That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
