Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
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The feeling are messing with the penis
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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