Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
