If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
