so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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