Moan for me like Helen Keller
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
