She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize