She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
