If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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