he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
