I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
