i'm signing you up for texting rehab
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize