So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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