Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
