Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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