i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
