The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
