I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
