I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
