You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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