it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
