I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
