I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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