just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
