well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
