can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
