I've blown a few things in my day
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
MIDGETS
????
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
