Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ugly people sure do ruin things
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
