Don't make out with my wife yet
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
