I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize