I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
