lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is in my trunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
