I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize