you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
