he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize