id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
