how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
