90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
