take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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