I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
