Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
