oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
