whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
