After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize