i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
