Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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