you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
