I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
