Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't deserve a penis
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
