is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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