: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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