I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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