How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
