Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
